My Post-Awakening Journal, Now available on Kindle

Before awakening felt like cutting through a jungle. After awakening it feels like the jungle cuts through itself.

During my childhood I spent much time looking at the sky. As I grew up I was drawn to various eastern traditions such as Zen. In college I would draw the Japanese character "Mu" in the margins of my notes. There was a lifelong intuition that there was so much more to reality than what I was perceiving. I wanted to "see beyond the veil," which eventually led me to shamanism. For seven years, I went to the Amazon yearly to study with curanderos there. I learned much but existence still felt claustrophobic in day-to-day life. I discovered TWIM meditation during the pandemic, and spent hours meditating daily. There were experiences, but still no breakthrough. Then I got COVID, daily waking up in the middle of the night with a violent hacking cough. With nothing else to do I would sit up and meditate. I was fed up. With what? Maybe with life. It was during one of these late night meditation sessions when the dam broke. Awakening. The crumbling off of a big, basic part of the identity structure. Ever since has been a process of thinning out, of an increasing sense of freedom that unfolds and expands largely on its own. Pre-awakening felt like cutting through a jungle. Post-awakening still feels like cutting through jungle, but now the jungle largely seems to cut through itself.

I’ve released a kindle book of my meditation journals from through roughly a year after awakening. They were transcribed from my @sun-ship YouTube channel. I hope it will be useful to those going through this process – it is not as linear or easily delineated as those who went through it many years or decades ago might sometimes make it seem. I believe there is value in getting experience when it is "fresh”.

Get it here:

https://amzn.to/4hyABbD

My Youtube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@sun-ship